Inappropriate sharing, incomprehensible ramblings, uncalled-for hostility: yup, it's a blog.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Rant, and you rant alone

When I started this blog, and abandoned my old blog, I wanted to keep posts sane and even. Nothing special, nothing great. Just steady posting, like a boat pushed back against the tide.

But fuck that.

I can either rant on a blog, or rant on Columbus Avenue between trash-dives.

So.

Here's my rant. Enjoy. It won't be pretty. Or consistently sane.

Our president--our VERY FIRST AFRICAN-AMERICAN PRESIDENT, a man who should be quite goddamn aware of all the social shortcomings of these United States--recently filed a brief in federal court defending DOMA. DOMA, for you opposite-marriage enthusiasts, is short for the "Defense of Marriage Act." DOMA became law in 1996. Also in 1996, Americans were convinced that 2400 baud was just enough bandwidth to access the Internet.

ANYway.

It's 2009 now, and DOMA is still federal law. And Obama filed a brief on Friday defending DOMA in all its 2400 baud glory.

Our VERY FIRST AFRICAN-AMERICAN PRESIDENT said gay marriage is like incest, hinted that we're all pedophiles, then suggested letting teh ghey people marry would be cost prohibitive, like gheys don't have plenty of goddamn expendable income to drop into the wedding economy. Whatever. Look it up. I can't get a lather up if I have to explain the nuances of my anger. Only sane people take the time to explain being pissed off. I'm trash-diving.

So: What the fuck? Seriously.

Incest and pedophilia? Really? The reason DOMA needs defending is because if the government doesn't defend it, all the gays are gonna touch children inappropriately then wed a cousin?

I haven't touched a cousin in over 20 years--and I never wanted to marry that cousin. He was convenient and I was 12 and horny, and sure, technically, that makes me a incestuous pedophile, but, shit, I grew up in Alabama. All 12 year olds are incestuous pedophiles.

Hey! You know who I'd like to marry? Greg. Hey, you know how long your parents were married, Barack? They married in 1961, and divorced in '64. That's three years.

You know how long I've been with Greg? Ten. Ten goddamn years. And it's looking like we'll go for another ten.

Since Obama's parent's divorced after three years together, I can understand why Obama would want to defend marriage. Clearly, his parents got divorced in 1964 because of gays wanting to get married in 2009. And we gays always want to marry our child cousins.

Oh!

I was so happy to see Obama's marriage on display a few weeks back. Obama taking his wife to dinner and a show made me feel good. Greg and I do that shit too. Greg and I go to dinner, we go to shows. Too bad we aren't married when we do it.

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