Inappropriate sharing, incomprehensible ramblings, uncalled-for hostility: yup, it's a blog.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Occam's Razor of vulgarity

Here's a video featuring "The 100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time."

Yes. Right. Okay, I'll concede that Rhett's "Frankly my dear..." response is probably the greatest single insult ever, and that Clark Gable's delivery of the line is perfect--just enough contempt, regret, resignation and dismissal.

The rest of the '100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time' is suspect, tho. Only one Groucho insult? No Addison DeWitt from All About Eve? No The Third Man cuckoo clock love? Whatever.

What the compilation does have is vulgarity. There's more 'fucks' in this thing than there are at a high school prom. More 'cocks' than a NRA meeting. Not complaining.

When I was younger, adults, filled with high moral fiber, assured me that "it takes creativity to express thoughts without using vulgar language." Because of the high moral fiber, they were predictably regular in crapping out shitty advice.

I dare you to find a more creative insult than, "To give you a lobotomy, someone would have to be willing to suck the shit out of your ass." Or "Go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut!"

Sure, Shakespeare or Dorothy Parker construct nice insults, but they aimed for the roof and not the foundation. When you're reaching for an insulting phrase, aim for the gutter; it's closer to the foundation.

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