Inappropriate sharing, incomprehensible ramblings, uncalled-for hostility: yup, it's a blog.

Saturday, August 6, 2011


I'm not gonna ape Vonnegut's style for this entry. Really I haven't tried to ape Vonnegut's style for the previous two entries--it's just a sad fact that I write like this now.

I write as if I'm trying to ape Vonnegut's style.

Even worse, I talk like this. I don't just write this way. I don't just write as if I'm trying to be Vonnegut--I speak in very terse, sometimes long and winding, sometimes descriptive and sometimes blank sentences, and there's nothing I can really do about it. This is how I write. This is how I speak.

It could be worse. I could communicate using INTERCO.


Interesting thing about INTERCO: Juliet (for the letter J) means that a ship is on fire, and the ship has dangerous cargo aboard. Think, I guess, the Lusitania. And Romeo (for the letter R) means, simply, that the way is off my ship. Which I guess means one need only to list starboard or leeward to get home.

Interesting because, as usual, poor Juliet needs to shove volatile material into herself in order to make herself relevant. All Romeo has to do is declare himself a beacon, and point to the left or the right.


So I talk like this. It causes a lot of problems with Greg, who thinks--rightly!--that I'm too flat.

Sometimes I wish I communicated with colorful flags indicating an approaching storm, or calm seas.

Greg and I have had two fights in one week. Both fights, arguments really, were mostly because I buried the lede rather than communicated, clearly, that my vessel had stopped or that I was altering my way to port.

I'd be a terrible seaman.

No jokes please.


Greg isn't the only person I recently had a fight with. I recently fought the Allies and the Axis of WWII.


Coming off of two fights with Greg, I got to fight every soldier of every nation of WWII. Here's how my battle began: Well, technically, we Americans didn't. We just happened to be in Dresden when the Brits bombed the hell out of Dresden.

Here's how it ended:
David. You're right. Students should read all views. But what you seem to be advocating is a strict balance of those views--you seem, and I may be wrong, to be saying that you're willing to tolerate, say, the things I personally like. But you don't agree with those things. And if so: fine, homeschool your kids, live on a compound, and declare everything post-FDR illegitimate.

What happened in between was mostly bullshit.

The impetus for the David argument was Vonnegut, and the usual banning of his book Slaughterhouse 5 from a high school library, this time in Missouri (the book has been banned in most other states, which is hilarious to me since most of Vonnegut's other books are far more offensive. The reason Slaughterhouse 5 gets all the banning honors is because it is about war, and how awful war is, and how war should be banned. Most of the other books he wrote are about how society should be banned--so who cares about that?).


I am tired of typing +++ when I feel I've made a good point.


So Slaughterhouse 5 was yet again banned, and a friend on Facebook posted about the banning, and I commented, and a flame-war happened.

If I spoke INTERCO, I'd've raised a B (Bravo), meaning, "I am taking in, or carrying, or discharging dangerous goods."


I'd've told David that I'd already had a fight, had already been told a bit about how much I identify with Vonnegut, and would've warned David I was in no mood to take slams against Vonnegut's work or justifications for Vonnegut's banishment from America's high school libraries.

David, by the way, was the person playing Devil's advocate on a friend's facebook posting about the Vonnegut ban. David was an innocent bystander.

David was also, it must be said, wrong.

Everyone is wrong on the internet. It is what keeps the internet flowing.


"!!!" doesn't quite work, does it. It seems too angry. I should use letters. 'KKK' doesn't work. 'OOO'? No. 'XXX'? Fuck it. Back to triple-plus.


David said this about Slaughterhouse 5, and about the firebombing of Dresden:
So you'd rather be speaking German, incinerating Jews & other 'undesirables' today? Sometimes to stop a madman's regime you have to take drastic action.

A reply--not mine--was this:
Yeah, that's clearly the direction the war was headed at that point. Only the massive firebombing of Dresden prevented an Allied collapse on all fronts.

Sarcasm! America was in very little danger during WWII of collapsing, and in fact used WWII to rebuild from the Great Depression.

Which is depressing.

But true, at least from some points of view. Others might have this point of view, shared by David: I was commenting on the mindset in our liberal NEA & university system that skews & rewrites history to make us the evil tyrant of the globe. A mindset that disdains the allied forces for trying to keep a mass-murdering maniac from conquering Europe, yet pities the Germans who initiated the world war.

So yes, I suppose one could argue that encouraging both a workforce and a university system to be better than the messy facts of war is a bad thing. One could argue that liberals do, indeed, want to bring down the very forces that made them a viable power and also, hey!, brought food to the table of millions. But the odd thing is, that wasn't what we were arguing about.

We were arguing about Vonnegut. We were arguing about how banning Slaughterhouse 5 was a bad (or good!) thing.


Greg said this, earlier in the evening: "You should say the last thing you want to say first. Because when you start out with what ends up being the end, you sound like an asshole."

He meant I bury the lede.


Here's David again:
Forgive my impertinence. I forgot I was an unenlightened rube who can't begin comprehend the anti American, anti God brilliance of your favorite Sci fi authors.

And my lede:
You needn't worry about your impertinence. I think you should be impertinent more often, and in more public places--like libraries, which I'm sure would welcome your impertinence.

Here's really what I should've said: David, I'm sorry you feel that way but I've had a bad night, and I've been really into Vonnegut for a while, and... you know. !!!.

Also: Jesus christ, David. You're proving the libs right by saying things like 'I HATE banning books. They should be age appropriate. We don't need the Kinsey Report in K-8th grade school libraries I'd say. But if Vonnegut is cool, so should the Ku'Ran, the Bible & books from all points of view.'

Kinsey? That's more dated than the Bible.

No comments:

Blog Archive

About Me

My photo
New York, NY, United States

Search Blogness