Inappropriate sharing, incomprehensible ramblings, uncalled-for hostility: yup, it's a blog.

Friday, October 21, 2011

A large, vibrating egg

Here's a quote from Diane Keaton about her relationship with Woody Allen: "Most people assumed Annie Hall was the story of our relationship... What matters is Woody’s body of work. Annie Hall was his first love story ...However bittersweet, the message was clear: Love fades. Woody took a risk; he let the audience feel the sadness of goodbye in a funny movie."

 'Love fades' is a line from Annie Hall said to Allen's character, Alvy Singer, just as he's realizing his relationship with Keaton's Annie Hall character is ending. Frenzied, Alvy asks an elderly woman, "Is it something I did?"

The elderly woman, marching along the sidewalk as she hugs her groceries tightly, barks out a reply: "It's never something you do. That's how people are. Love fades."

And it does.

Love fades.

Unless, of course, you follow the advice of the next elderly person Alvy encounters, and use a large, vibrating egg.


You know, I was gonna end the post there--with the concept of a vibrating egg. I think the old man has a point, in that vibrating eggs are sometimes useful if you want to prevent yourself from becoming an old woman clinging to her groceries and barking out things like, "Love fades."

But that is a terrible ending. Sometimes, in order to keep love from fading, you need help--you need a large, vibrating egg.

Love does fade. There are many things that fade, though. Soldiers, for one.

General MacArthur, in a fit of delusion not seen since the beginning of religion, famously said, "Old soldiers never die--they slowly fade away." An absurd thing to say. There are no old soldiers. There are dead soldiers, or there are promoted former soldiers. Old soldiers never die, you see, because they don't age--they slowly rise up the ranks.



Jesus Christ is sometimes noted as both a soldier for the Lord and as the embodiment of Love.

The most recognizable representation of Jesus Christ is from da Vinci's The Last Supper. Which started to fade the instant da Vinci painted it onto the wall of the monastery in Milan.

True story! Leonardo da Vinci, being who he was, decided to try something new by painting one of the world's most famous paintings onto dry plaster, using egg-based paint. Fifty years later, The Last Supper had deteriorated so badly that it was unrecognizable. The faces of Christ and the apostles had peeled away from the wall. The colors of the robes had faded. The bread and the wine drooped down as if da Vinci painted the whole thing in a cave.

The first restoration of The Last Supper began barely a half-century after da Vinci painted it. The restorations continue today. One of da Vinci's worst inventions: egg-tempera paint.


Large, vibrating eggs.

You know, the last line of Annie Hall is this: "I, I thought of that old joke, y'know, the, this... this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, uh, my brother's crazy; he thinks he's a chicken." And, uh, the doctor says, "Well, why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "I would, but I need the eggs." Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y'know, they're totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and... but, uh, I guess we keep goin' through it because, uh, most of us... need the eggs."

If only Alvy had listened to that old man with his vibrating egg...

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