Inappropriate sharing, incomprehensible ramblings, uncalled-for hostility: yup, it's a blog.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Religious Rights

First of all, Waffles, our dog, feels the need to clean whatever surface upon which Greg and I have sex.

Perhaps we're bad parents. Perhaps we're bad trainers. But whenever sexual acts come to the natural end, and the involved parties disperse to clean off or straighten up, Waf emerges from wherever he's been hiding to sniff and lick and inspect.

It is his instinct, just as it is our instinct to poke and prod at bodies. Take them in. Pound them in.

Hard to say which is more gross: our instinct, or his.

Slippery slope.

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Recently, a friend told me that I don't get religion. I don't understand the moral value of religion, nor do I get the societal importance of it. He said this because I stated the only reason religious groups fuck around with charity is because of the mess religious doctrine creates. They're trying to fix their own mess.

The conversation went something like this:

"You didn't grow up with Jews, did you."

"I grew up across from the only temple in town. Dad wouldn't mow the grass on Saturday just because."

"Because what?"

"Because it seemed the polite thing to do. If religion didn't say You can't have birth control, think of all the work that wouldn't need to be done in Africa."

"Well, apartheid. Think of all the good the religion did to undo that."

"Why did apartheid exist in the first place?"

"Nederlanders are bastards."

Slippery slopes. It's not just for heathens.

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About the Jewish temple across the street from where I grew up: I was beaten to a pulp in the parking lot when I was 10. True!

Friends and I were goofing around, and I made a wise-ass remark, and some kid took it the wrong way. The kid jumped on me, and held me down, and repeatedly punched me in the mouth.

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I've said much worse things since then. No one has tried to punch me.

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Religion. My friend is probably right. I don't get it. I don't understand how normal people fall for it.

There's this ritual thing, of course. Bris, communion, ramadan,  baptism.... whatever the ritual, it seems counterproductive to the actual process of Deity-worship. Not to say I don't respect the effort--I am terrible with process and usually just look for the quickest way to an end--but all these ritualistic habits seem a bit much. Does Ash Wednesday truly afford one entrance to heaven? Snake-handling--is it a religious rite, or is it a parlor trick? Leaving an empty plate for Elijah--religious act, or just an excuse to disinvite an unwanted guest?

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Waf hides when sex happens. Which is a good thing--it is a private action between one or two or more, and we'd all really rather the dog not be up in our business. I feel the same way about religion.




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