Let's start with Bruce Jenner.
I love him, and I love her. I look forward to whatever he chooses to become. But.
Wheaties is a terrible food product that always pretended to be a cereal. I don't know when it was born, but I know after 1976 it existed and pretended to be something it wasn't.
Real cereal has sugar. We all know it, even though we don't like to admit it. Any cereal absent of sugar is not actual cereal; it is a food product in a bowl with milk. It is over-saturated oatmeal.
When I was a kid, Bruce Jenner fooled me into thinking Wheaties was a good thing, full of vitamins and minerals and whatever else necessary to make me grow up to be a gold medal athlete. Jenner was selling and I was buying.
Turns out I wasn't a very good athlete. I just had a nice bowl of crappy food product drowned in milk.
Now to Miss Piggy, which is an odd segue.
Miss Piggy has been awarded feminist stature by the aptly-named Sackler Center. The Sackler Center has, amongst its treasures, Judy Chicago's wonderful Dinner Party, which should be more a part of your daily diet than Wheaties.
Hear me out! Or don't. It's your box of Wheaties.
Miss Piggy is the first feminist character most young boys encounter. There's no absolute proof for that statement, but I'm absolutely certain it is true. If your kids are watching anything, reading anything, with brash, outspoken girls, those girls are inspired in part by Miss Piggy.
So. Children of Reagan.
I put to you that both Miss Piggy and Bruce Jenner are the same. Not in person, but in deed.
In deed, Bruce Jenner has pissed off many transitioning humans. Those humans have a very good point: He is not going through what most trans humans are enduring. He is a white male of privilege, and does not know what it is like to be kicked out of a home, belittled, or dismissed. To be trans is to be in transit.
In deed, Miss Piggy has never done a deed. She is a puppet. All of her actions are controlled by men. Her most feminist moments are scripted by men, and her every movement involves a man's arms.
But. Children of Reagan, who have moved beyond such shit, who have seen what AIDS is, and bigotry, and questioned Welfare Queens and War on Drugs, and rejected spin-offs to terrible TV shows, and gone iffy on Women Who Run with Wolves while accepting Transparent, can't we all get together and admit Miss Piggy and Bruce Jenner are kind of amazing? Jenner shilled for a fake food, and Piggy for a fake variety show. But both Bruce and Miss Piggy, 30 years on, push us forward.
I know I'm being all cisgender white privilege, and I don't mean to be. But Bruce Jenner and Miss Piggy are remarkable. There is a lot of fight to come over gender and sex and equality. But can't we all, for a moment, just give some props to an Olympian and a puppet? Neither should offend anyone. And both are very sincere.
Even if one is a Republican.
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