Inappropriate sharing, incomprehensible ramblings, uncalled-for hostility: yup, it's a blog.

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

This Election, Lemme Tell You...

This election. Am I right?

Hey. I recall a time when people were okay being awful to one another. Now? You mention Trump's name and everyone screams 'racist'. I was playing poker the other day and got called a racist 12 times. I finally had to cut my losses. Leave my chips.

I don't even play poker. I just know to yell 'Trump' at cards is a useful skill.

My boss the other day. I asked her, so how's your husband? And she said, I can't talk to him anymore. He's DVRing MSNBC when he's at work, he's watching CNN when he's at home, and he's yelling all the time. I don't even have a joke for this. He's actually doing this. I asked about FOX and she said "Stop reminding me of ALL CAPS."

No, seriously, it's a thing causing stress in a marriage.

But seriously, they're in love.


They just don't talk no longer because Rachael Maddow and Anderson Cooper can't agree on sexual positions.

No respect.

Also: I'm done with Trump supporters. Hey! I am. I'm thinking people who justify Trump are misguided humans who also think 'The Big Bang Theory' is a sitcom. Hey. Whoa. 'The Big Bang Theory' is not a sitcom. It's an excuse for commercial advertisers to pretend they understand science and cosmology.  "Is it just me, or is it getting Swiffer in here." Hey!

Trump just suggested a Second Amendment solution to Hillary Clinton. Only Trump would try to be Aaron Burr. Next he'll pull a Goldwater and do whatever Goldwater did to not be elected.


But you know what's serious? There are people who are trying to justify Trump. And they're serious to the point that they are willing to excuse a lot of things: they're excusing hate, logic, family, federal law, and good jokes.

Here's a good joke: I hope my opponent falls in cat-poop.

Here's a bad joke: Please just shoot all of the people who oppose me. I get no respect. I'm an old man. Give me some mercy. Just shoot me.

No. Really. Just shoot me.

Shoot me. Or send me to one of those anti-gay places. No respect.

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